Well I talked to Tammy also here is what I wrote the day after:

Sunday night when I got home I noticed that Tammy called so I called back once we put Ariel to sleep. She didn't answer but called back. It didn't go so well. She was so angry, and emotional and I ended up just bawling. She told me that Tim wrote the letter and she read it and said okay to send it. I told her how I felt it was childlish, mean, and that it wasn't appropriate for Tim to have written it and why did she not sign it? She said she didn't know how to confront someone and couldn't sign it as it was too hard for her. She made me feel horrible for how I made her feel. She said that I say mean things all the time. I told her that I have never had this problem in my life. Yes people have gotten mad at me, we have had arguements and such but not about something like this. I appologized to her. I told her I was sorry that she felt so bad that I never meant to make her feel that way. She just kept going on with how horrible I was. And she got mad at me for the fork incident. Told me that I scolded Taylor in a mother's tone. I told her that I was sorry, and that she shouldn't be bringing that up again as I had appologized for it on the day! She basically was yelling at me over this. I told her that I had meant to call again to make sure she knew that I felt bad but Ariel was sick and than I got the letter. I realized that what I did was wrong that I reacted too quickly, but what Taylor was doing was wrong and I got there first. And I really felt that when someone appologizes to us about something should we bring it up later and yell at them? I said Tammy it bothers me that everytime your children do something wrong you defend there actions, when it doens't matter as kids are kids. She got so mad at me at this point and told me that she will always take her children's side and defend them. I didn't even bother talking about that afterwards. She brought up the finicail thing that I have made comments. I told her that all I ever said was to look into a course offered for free at our church, than she asked me why, she asked me for my opinion! She argued with me about that but I told her I clearly remembered her asking me why, she than realized it too.

I won't go into it all but in the end it didn't go well. I told her I didn't know where we could go from here. Maybe time would make things easier but I wasn't sure. She said that if she saw me in church and I walked by she would know why. After getting off the phone I just balwed. I felt like such a horrible person. I asked Chad was I that mean to her? Am I horrible? If there is one thing Chad is it is honest. He said that at times I do put my foot in my mouth, maybe more than others at times but everyone that were friends with are strong people and just shrug it off or call me on it. I talked to my friend Kristy the next day and she told me that if it were true that I was mean I wouldn't have as many friends that I do.

I have reflected on myself over this and I am trying to watch what I say and pay attention to people's reactions. I used to feel that I had no friends. That no one liked me. I havnet' felt that way in a long time. I realized that on sunday, but now I guess I can feel that way again as tammy does! I am kidding. After thinking about it a lot after our conversation I think that maybe once or twice I have said something that bothered Tammy. And she dwelt on it and let it bother her and when she would see me again she thought of everything I said and found ways that it bothered her and was meant for her. I have been there. I have been hurt by a few comments and started to think that this person didn't like me and everytime I saw them they would say things that were meant to hurt me. Until I got stronger where that one comment that was innocently said I didn't let it bother me. I got over it. I knew that it wasn't true. And suddently I stopped thinking that everyone hated me. I also think maybe Tammy is hurting right now maybe because she needs friends and has lashed out at me.

I asked Tammy about the mommies group and she said what bothers her is that when she gets togather with her friends they talk about things that she wasn't there for, things that may have happened at mommies group. She said she isn't interested in it as she can't come. I appologized about inviting Lisa. I brought up how we feel that they don't like it that we are friends with Lisa and Andrew as a couple and she said that she didn't feel that way, and I said I guess it's Tim and she brushed it off. I felt that anything I had an issue in with our friendship she didn't want to talk about. The Tim thing isn't her but I won't talk to him about that. I don't know why that was in the letter if it isn't such a big issue, I guess it bother's Tim. I let her know that I wasn't singling her out by not inviting her I didn't invite any of my 3 SIL's or a lot of my other friends. They choose to take it personally.

I don't know if I want my friendship to be with her what it was. I feel horrible for her as I know how it feels to have no friends. I am in such a great friend place right now. My friendships are getting better and better. But I don't think she sees her faults and how she plays into the situation. And the whole always taking her children's side thing really annoys me. Yes I think it is so important to be ther for your children and defend them when it's due. But for everything? Come on! L teaches in the town that Tammy is from and said that that is how the parents are often taking the child's side against her the teacher (whatever happened to having respect for the teacher, a grade 1 teacher?) I now have a better understanding how parents stand by there children when they do very bad things. I just see that as being a very big problem in the future possibly. I swear if her kids ever hurt Ariel and than she excuses there behavior and starts to defend them rather than taking ownership I will more than likely crack and either leave immediately or kick her out of our house.

Well a week and a half later I am over it. I don't just think about it. I am sad that it went this way but I have really realized that there isn't anything major wrong with me. I am a good person, I am a good friend, and I am not mean! I really feel that maybe I said something that hurt Tammy and rather than saying anything about it she let it bother her and started to get hurt by everything I did, looking for things. I have been there and done that myself. I am not like that anymore and because of that I am so much happier, I don't feel as if everyone hates me and I have no friends. With friends sometimes we say things that hurt each other, innocently, and we need not to let it bother us. Or we need to bring it up rather than letting it build up. Or we need to be strong enough not to let it tear us down. I do think that people do say things sometimes to be mean and that is never excusable, but often it's not.

I talked to L about it and she has a diiferent view. She told me that she very much appreicates Tammy and Tim's friendship. That she is willing to deal with things since she values them, she said that sure she won't have the greastest time when they are at her house since she will be on guard, or they won't have them over that much and do other sorts of things. And she will not always share her opnion knowing that Tammy doesn't like it.

I talked to Chad's mom and told her everything. She even didn't agree with me being all mean and she usually doesn't take my side! She said that by Tammy exploding at me it sounds like Tammy wants to be in control. That always defeding her children, not listening to us at our homes when we say we don't want your child in our pantry (saying it's okay) she is being controlling. She agreed with me about the taking things to personally and also said that if Tammy and Tim felt that they were doing a good job parenting they wouldn't be bothered by anything. Chad's mom said to sit down with her and talk it out and share with her how if we continue our friendship things need to be different. I shared this with her also but I don't think Tammy will take it well. She doens't want to hear it so should I say it? When I look at all her friendships she is in control with all of them because they don't say things that bother them because there too kind to, too scared to or whatever. Chad's mom said that if I continue my friendship with not saying what I feel it will end anyways, any friendship would. The whole phone call seemed like tell Anita off and make her feel horrible it's all her. I don't think Tammy sees her part. I shall see I know that Tammy is going away this weekend so I won't talk to her beforehand as I don't want to ruin it for her by upsetting her.

Life has been pretty good otherwise. Busy with friends and shopping. Chad's businesses has been imporving so much. Over a month ago he started waking up earlier and going to the office to read his bible and pray and read some books. Ever since he has been getting his own clients!